Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Head and The Heart.

Posted in Uncategorized by

Disclosure. I have a longstanding history of always wanting ‘the best of both worlds’. You know, have my cake AND eat it too. This is something that has been an innate part of my being, since childhood. For my parents, this was no doubt an exhausting feat. Not only did I consistently choose ‘both’ when they would be so kind to give me choices, my stubbornness would quickly choose neither when they decided I couldn’t have both. Quite the conundrum wouldn’t you agree?

So where does this come from? The choices, the struggles, and the need to have it all? Initially, I was worried that I had fallen victim to the Millennial Plague of Entitlement (that’s an entirely other topic). But, I can honestly say that I am not a ‘grass is always greener’ person; I work hard for what I have and as much as I hate failure, I learn from it. I take ownership for myself and believe that I am accountable to and responsible for my own happiness.

As I worked hard at unpacking my own head suitcase, it became glaringly obvious. I realized that this battle has always been internal and it has been the battle of the decades between yes, my head and my heart; decisions of precise calculation versus decisions of pure emotion. One feels safe and one feels good. So, which one do you listen to? For me, I always listened to my head. The Type A in me could never leave the safe zone, my world of calculated risks, contingency plans and lists, and god were there lists. I had been hardwired for planning and the dreaded disease of ‘perfectionism’. Gross.

Before you go on feeling sorry for the heart, I am going to pose the question to you; which one should you listen to? Maybe my answer will surprise you and maybe it will not. But, it is obviously neither. Unless you want to be the collateral damage, you need to learn to silence them both and in the words of Brene Brown, you need to ‘Dig Deep’. That whisper of a voice that you never listened to or perhaps ignored? That feeling in the pit of your stomach, deep in your chest or that impulse that you controlled? That is your intuition, your gut, your inner compass. Trust it. Go with it.

This is not easy, I get that. Digging deep requires both courage and connection. It takes a lot of courage to take the first step into unknown territory and it takes a strong connection with yourself to hear that whisper and to feel it. Trust me, it is there and it has been all along. Unfortunately, you have only known and felt the aftermath of it in the form of regret, also known as the ‘Woulda, Coulda, Shouldas’.

This isn’t me saying you should never ‘follow your heart’ or that thinking a decision through is a bad decision. This is me encouraging you to get in touch with your inner compass and let it guide you. Consider it the swing vote, give it the Veto power. When your head and your heart are in conflict, you need to dig deep and trust your intuition. Is it always going to be right? Hell no! But, I feel that we can learn a lot more from our mistakes when they are wholehearted mistakes.

Get quiet and get in touch.

Lise

xo.

p.s. On a completely separate but related topic, one of my new favourite bands is call The Head and The Heart. If you are looking for new tunes, check them out: http://www.theheadandtheheart.com/

Unsubscribe.

Posted in Uncategorized by

This was a difficult post to write, but one that has been swirling around in my head for a very long time. It all started while I was reading one of my favourite organizing/ de-cluttering blogs (iheartorganizing) and I got thinking about all the ‘clutter’ in my own life. Believe it or not, my email inbox was one of the first places my mind went to. How many of you are like me who, in order to receive the 20% discount you provide your email and have since been sentenced to an electronic hell of updates and offers that fill your inbox? It is bad enough our mailboxes via snail mail are only bills and flyers, we have now subjected our emails to this too. I am officially committed to this cause and have unsubscribed to every piece of junk email that finds its way into my email account. So simple. So gratifying. That is the simplest form of decluttering, so I thought I had best warm you up before the next section. Things are about to get real.

Unsubscribe to people too. Yes, people can also be clutter. We live in a world where we overuse the word ‘busy’, but I recognize that our schedules are also ‘jam-packed’. With what? With who? We all have those people that we are chronically too busy for and then we are filled with guilt when we do not make time for them. This is my challenge, if you wanted to make the time, you could have and you would have, right? But, you didn’t. Why?

I know that sounds harsh but I want to make it clear; the people and relationships of our world serve a very important purpose. They all play an intricate role into who we are, where we have been and what we have done. Some have been there every step of the way, some have been there for moments and some for certain time periods (high school, university, first job, since the womb, etc.). Some of these people come in and out of our worlds seamlessly. We can go months, even years without talking to them but in any moment we know they would be there, can be there and they are just ‘easy’. Some people were the front runners of our awkward teens and share a past with us that no one else will ever be so lucky to be a part of. You may have drifted from these people but when you reflect on the memories, nothing short of a warm smile and a flashback of an awful tasting beer comes to your mind. I am not encouraging you to unsubscribe to these people, these memories. I am encouraging you to evaluate the people and relationships of your world, right now… your tribe. Are you giving attention to the people you want, the people who feed your soul? Or, are you running yourself ragged out of obligation? Obligation does not feel good. Dental checkups and PAP tests are obligation… friendships should not be in that category. Remember, you aren’t the greatest friend either when you are there out of obligation. Relationships are a two way street.

Your time is valuable, you are valuable. We need to do a better job of sharing our time with what and who matter the most but, we cannot do that until we sift through the clutter. Thanks to my love of lists, I leave you with these tasks:

1. Unsubscribe from all of those emails you do not want to receive. Before you delete them, take the 6 seconds to scroll to the bottom and unsubscribe. Do it. Now.
2. Mail a letter or a card. A real letter, to someone important to you. Give them something in their mailbox to smile about.
3. Email your people. Renew your subscriptions to their lives. It can be 10 paragraphs or it can be two sentences. Give them a smile with a very simple hello. Make it your goal to send one a day or one a week, and make it someone different each time. You will be amazed how this makes you reconnect with your own life but also the joy it will bring when they hit reply.
4. Operation Phase Out. This is not a formal break-up; this is not a conversation over dinner. This is just self reflective practice. Make time for those you have been meaning to make plans with, say no to those who you feel obligatory guilt towards. Time will take care of the rest.
5. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk in the sunshine. After all, the number one person to make time for is you.

Happy Spring Cleaning,

Lise

Xo.

Reach Out.

Posted in Uncategorized by

A few months ago I was stuck in a rut, a deep, muddy and ambition-less rut. It was one of those ruts that if you grew up in rural Saskatchewan you know exactly what it looks like on our outstanding gravel roads during the initial melt of Spring. Yes, one of those ruts. No matter what I did, what I tried, I was not making any head-way. Forward, reverse, repeat; still in the same spot. I was spinning my tires and I was going nowhere. I lacked motivation and my ambition was at an all time low.

It was two months, 120 snooze button ‘ignores’ and endless days of clock watching in before I recognized the depth of my rut. What I just described are my acute symptoms of ‘stuck’. No, this is not a DSM-V diagnosis, but for me, it is very real. I was longing the days where I awoke before my alarm and time sped by at an alarming rate. Neither were occurring. I blamed it on the lack of sunshine. But let’s be honest, sunshine increases social activity, not necessarily productivity* (*Seasonal Affective Disorder is real and I am NOT belittling that).

Anyway, I knew this was a ‘me’ issue and I did something I often do not, I reached out. I sent a message to friend and former varsity teammate of mine asking for resources on motivation and productivity. If you have read my ‘Favourites’ page, this will sound familiar as this is when I was introduced to the magical Brene Brown. My friend, Gwen, sent me the link to Brene’s TedTalk and my mind was blown. I watched this woman, my hero, speak about her research and speak with such passion. She captivated me and most importantly, she inspired me. From that moment I just new that I needed to find my passion. Immediately I ordered both of her books and committed to reading them. Yes, I fed my soul with self help. Her words were profound but her purpose for her work was even more significant to me. It was in that moment that I opened my eyes and I believe I truly opened my whole heart to my own personal journey (see: Girl On Fire). This moment was the catalyst to where I am now. It was the spark to the fire.

Where am I going with this? What is my point? Simple. REACH OUT. Stop living in the darkness in isolation or worse yet, merely existing and watching a clock counting down minutes. It is painful. It is long.

I hope that each of us have experienced at least one moment in our lives of true bliss; our fire was burning and we felt we could take on the world. Even if it was fleeting, try and think of your blissful moment(s).  Life is not sunshine and rainbows but it is not suppose to be dull and lacking purpose. If you are living in the darkness, reach out. Whether it be to people of your tribe or feeding your soul some of its favourite food, do it. Get yourself back to baseline and go back to the drawing board. I am not suggesting a career change or an intercontinental move, but I am suggesting a date with yourself. If there is one thing I have learned, it is only you that can get yourself out of that rut. Trust me. I have tried EVERYTHING; vacation therapy, retail therapy, wine therapy, you-name-it therapy. It does not work. So. Take a deep breath, pack some snacks and climb into the rut. Take a look at yourself and go to work. Be real, be honest, light that fire, find your passion, figure out when you got there, what got you there, how long you have been there for and how the hell to get out. In those answers lie many truths.

Last year, I had the amazing opportunity to see my home girl Oprah, with my mom. Right? I know. Anyway, she closed her show with Derek Walcott’s Love After Love poem. I leave you with this poem and the advice to reach out and please, make a date with yourself;

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Lise

xo.

soul food.

Posted in Uncategorized by

“your hunger will lead you home”

– Danielle LaPorte

so, what exactly is soul food? for me, these are the things that make me, me. these are the ‘things’ that when i am on my highest of highs or my lowest of lows, i consistently find myself turning to. my constant pick me ups or celebratory self reflections. these ‘things’, both big and small, they are my soul food. if you are like me, you forget about the things that can so simply create balance in your life. below i have included a small list of the food that feeds my soul…

a sunrise or sunset jog. just me. my earbuds. my thoughts. the prairie sky. breathing in, breathing out…letting go.

decluttering/ organizing. i know right? i have psychoanalyzed myself. repeatedly. i am completely aware this fulfils my need to have control. to find a place. in times when my thoughts are chaotic, i know that my possessions do not have to be. brings me so much inner peace to know that in my home everything has a place.

music. live music is my absolute favourite form of this. i get a rush, i feel completely re-energized. i think this is related to feeding off of the passion of seeing an artist, on stage, doing what they love. i love that. i crave that in my own life. of course, live music isn’t always an option so comes those times when you purchase a new album or stumble upon a new song. pushing play for the first time and listening from start to finish. bliss. i love it. even more so when immediately you feel like you have found the newest soundtrack to your life. simple, i know. but again, so rewarding. my go to ear candy? brandi carlile. give her a spin. buy all of her albums. and then, pay it forward.

reading. i love getting lost in a good book, a great book. i am lucky that i have found the most perfect book club in my family members, a group of us who enjoy the same genres, they are my go-to’s for new reads. i encourage you to do the same. sure, the ‘recommended for you’ section on amazon or indigo has its perks, but it is not the same as a person. find your book people, get their lists. what are my ‘must-reads’: The Fault in our Stars, Hannah’s Gift, The Art of Racing in the Rain, Still Alice, Little Bee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Tuesdays with Morrie. those are a great place to start. i am filled with favourites and recommendations; if you want more, just ask!

personal growth. how you ask? research. read. write. repeat. reading a book that likely can be found in the ‘self help’ section, searching for blogs that feed into my soul food, watching a TedTalk, journalling. basically, anything that ignites a fire…

my tribe. yes, I just dedicated an entire post to these people and they are definitely my soul food. a Skype date, a phone call, a cup of coffee or a glass of wine; they feed my soul and fill me up.

i encourage you to make a list and keep it handy. when you feel like you need to ground yourself, reset your equilibrium or find gratitude in a great moment, pull out this list and do something on it. go on… feed your soul.

lise

xo.