Disclosure. I have a longstanding history of always wanting ‘the best of both worlds’. You know, have my cake AND eat it too. This is something that has been an innate part of my being, since childhood. For my parents, this was no doubt an exhausting feat. Not only did I consistently choose ‘both’ when they would be so kind to give me choices, my stubbornness would quickly choose neither when they decided I couldn’t have both. Quite the conundrum wouldn’t you agree?

So where does this come from? The choices, the struggles, and the need to have it all? Initially, I was worried that I had fallen victim to the Millennial Plague of Entitlement (that’s an entirely other topic). But, I can honestly say that I am not a ‘grass is always greener’ person; I work hard for what I have and as much as I hate failure, I learn from it. I take ownership for myself and believe that I am accountable to and responsible for my own happiness.

As I worked hard at unpacking my own head suitcase, it became glaringly obvious. I realized that this battle has always been internal and it has been the battle of the decades between yes, my head and my heart; decisions of precise calculation versus decisions of pure emotion. One feels safe and one feels good. So, which one do you listen to? For me, I always listened to my head. The Type A in me could never leave the safe zone, my world of calculated risks, contingency plans and lists, and god were there lists. I had been hardwired for planning and the dreaded disease of ‘perfectionism’. Gross.

Before you go on feeling sorry for the heart, I am going to pose the question to you; which one should you listen to? Maybe my answer will surprise you and maybe it will not. But, it is obviously neither. Unless you want to be the collateral damage, you need to learn to silence them both and in the words of Brene Brown, you need to ‘Dig Deep’. That whisper of a voice that you never listened to or perhaps ignored? That feeling in the pit of your stomach, deep in your chest or that impulse that you controlled? That is your intuition, your gut, your inner compass. Trust it. Go with it.

This is not easy, I get that. Digging deep requires both courage and connection. It takes a lot of courage to take the first step into unknown territory and it takes a strong connection with yourself to hear that whisper and to feel it. Trust me, it is there and it has been all along. Unfortunately, you have only known and felt the aftermath of it in the form of regret, also known as the ‘Woulda, Coulda, Shouldas’.

This isn’t me saying you should never ‘follow your heart’ or that thinking a decision through is a bad decision. This is me encouraging you to get in touch with your inner compass and let it guide you. Consider it the swing vote, give it the Veto power. When your head and your heart are in conflict, you need to dig deep and trust your intuition. Is it always going to be right? Hell no! But, I feel that we can learn a lot more from our mistakes when they are wholehearted mistakes.

Get quiet and get in touch.

Lise

xo.

p.s. On a completely separate but related topic, one of my new favourite bands is call The Head and The Heart. If you are looking for new tunes, check them out: http://www.theheadandtheheart.com/