Tag Archives: grief

Red Serge Proud.

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It has been a heavy day in the land of the True North, strong and free. Today, a Nation laid to rest Fabrice Georges Gevaudan, Douglas James Larche and Dave Joseph Ross. Three RCMP officers who were killed as they selflessly and heroically kept us safe. I don’t imagine either one of these men began their shift believing it would be their last. However, I am certain they begin every shift knowing that their own death is a possibility. I cannot fathom that thought; knowingly putting yourself in harms way for the safety of others. I, for one, would never have the courage. I have admiration and respect for these remarkable individuals who put on their invisible capes and go to work. Every. Single. Day.

Death elicits such a response in each of us. A public tragedy intensifies these responses; we question our safety, our mortality and our beliefs. Lately, I have been on a roller coaster of emotions with humanity. On one end, I have been moved to tears as I witnessed the outpour of support, condolences and then united front many took today in wearing red. It softened the empathic ache in my heart. On the other end, I developed a bitterness and a frustration for the need for death and tragedy to bring us ‘together’. I mean, why wait? In my eyes, these people are heroes every day. Why is it that we wait until someone is killed before we truly acknowledge their daily service? Why is it we berate these individuals for our speeding tickets, publicly ridicule their professional judgement during situations we are not a part of, and constantly criticize their approach to policing? But, when it is white out conditions on the highways and we feel the need to ‘try them’, we don’t think twice of who it is coming to rescue us from our absentmindedness. We rarely recognize the trauma from permanent emotional wounds they are left with after notifying a parent that their child has been killed in a motor vehicle accident. Why are we so selectively united and only during tragedies?

With that, I am encouraging you each to stop, please just stop with the judgement. Start practicing gratitude to all those who make your world a little bit easier and contribute to what is the power of human kindness.

As I got to sleep tonight, my heart is very heavy thinking of the survivors of Fabrice Georges Gevaudan, Douglas James Larche and Dave Joseph Ross. Because from this moment forward, they are just that, survivors. I know that my normal has not changed, that my world resets tomorrow. For these families, their grief journey has just begun. They will wake tomorrow from what they hoped was a bad dream, to see pieces of their lives shattered and uncertain how to put them back together. They will have dark days that will overshadow any light moment. They will have moments that will be unbearable. People, this is grief. It is heavy. It is paralyzing. It demands to be felt. It is also transforming. We survive grief. But surviving means rebuilding our world and reshaping our new normal. For these families, they are only beginning this journey. This process, it takes time.

In the meantime Canada; be kind, be patient, be respectful. 

Heavy Hearted and Red Serge Proud,

Lise

xo.

Let Go, Make a Wish, Play.

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I am currently unwinding after what was a fulfilling, magical weekend at Caring Hearts Camp (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoMrfFUeIv4). Each year, twice a year, I have the privilege of volunteering at a grief camp for children. Consistently, I am in awe of the brave, young souls that I come in contact with. I am overwhelmed with emotion and I leave hoping that I have impacted them in a way that they have impacted me.

We spend the weekend moving between activities focused on grief and activities that are simply, fun. We work hard to create a safe place for these children and to give them an opportunity to be ‘kids’ amongst their tragedies. We provide light in the darkness, comfort during a good cry and permission to follow the giggles up with genuine smiles. These children are the guiding force, we follow their lead-we follow their instincts.

Children. They are resilient. They are honest, they are courageous, they are driven by intuition. Their emotions are raw, authentic, and very close to the surface. As adults, we have a lot to learn from these powerful minds; we need to learn how to go back to what is simple. This group of children taught me many lessons in living over the course of the weekend. Below are three of the lessons I encourage you to get back to.

Let Go.

We hold on to so many things; so much weight, so much baggage. It is heavy and rarely do we ever ask for help. Some things we cannot change, we cannot fix, they will not go away. Stop dragging this weight around; let go of the ribbon and release it. If it needs to, if it is important enough, it will come back. Trust me.

Make a Wish.

The wishbone. The candles on a cake. A penny in a wishing well. Remember those moments when we used to make a wish {or maybe still do}? Go back to that. This practice is not about the belief in the wish coming true but rather, it is about paying attention to what that wish actually is. It is about that moment after you have closed your eyes and taken that deep breath, it is the moment right before you blow the candles out and a fleeting thought enters your mind. That thought is what you need to remember. Remember it, hold on to it, DO something about it.

Play.

Yes, play. It’s that simple. Drop your guard, your judgment, have fun and play. Use your imagination, find your inner child and take a break from external expectations. If there is one short cut to hitting the refresh button to your life, this is it.

Tag, you’re it!

Lise

xo.